Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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