yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
tell me about the eggs
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
