The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
