road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
