do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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