were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
