Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
