big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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