I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
