Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He passed out mid-signature
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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