She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
