if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
