Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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