I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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