so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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