i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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