i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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