I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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