but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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