K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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