You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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