went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
