Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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