My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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