There was a lot of him and a little penis
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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