Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
