I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
