So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize