I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just puked most of my soul out..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
