i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Damn victory sex feels great
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
