Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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