I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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