Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
