I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
