Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
