why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
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I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize