I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!