I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food