I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
