I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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