I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.