Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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