wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
