We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it hurts more in the daytime
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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