i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
