ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
