He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
