uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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