I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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