Your face is a jimmy john
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize