I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize