I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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