I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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