ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
