apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
