you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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