if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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