The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
