dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
