I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
