if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
