Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
