Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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