is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
