I think i peed on brittanys purse
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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