I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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