grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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