My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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