Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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